ideal waste of time - NERO, WHO'S UR DADDY?

09:42 am - NERO, WHO'S UR DADDY?

Well, I'm a little over halfway through DMC4 now and have just switched to playing as Dante. Is it terrible that I kind of miss Nero already?




First off, I love Nero. I didn't think I WOULD, since I went into the game being somewhat disgruntled that he wasn't Dante, but I warmed to him quickly. In addition to the fact that the DB is VERY fun to use, I like Nero's personality. Sure, he's basically Dante Junior (and there's nothing wrong with that XD), but he's... well... sweet. I actually like his interactions with Damsel-in-Distress. They're cute together. Also, he completely won me over with that uncomfortable, vaguely embarrassed expression he got on his face when Gloria was putting her knife away in a whoreishly positioned leg holster early on in the game. Also, the scene where he flipped Dante off as he was being absorbed into the main bad guy was the funniest thing ever. And then Dante called him a "punk". Ah ha ha ha, Dante, you're turning into a grumpy old man! XDDDD



Okay, so, Gloria. Am I the only one who thought she was totally vile? She looked like a transvestite (observe the photographic evidence above) AND she obviously wasn't wearing any panties. And somehow, I am NOT all that shocked to find out that it was in fact TRISH in disguise all along! A disguise that included generous amounts of tanning lotion and no undergarments, apparently. This just adds one more thing to The List, as far as reason for me to be vaguely uncomfortable with Trish. I think the fact that she's somewhat of a love interest and yet ALSO looks exactly like Dante's mother creeps me out enough that I'll never really like her. Anyway, Lady is much cooler. Speaking of the girls, is it just me or did they REALLY bring the bouncing boobies up a notch? I mean... I really don't remember all that jiggling in the OTHER DMC games. My only hope is that all the girls invest in bras before DMC5 comes out.

Back to Dante, I will admit one thing that has kou_haruko threatening to disown me for insolence: I like his new look. I dig the stubble. what can I say, I like the older guys. XD; And of course, Dante is one of my absolute favorite game characters, so despite the fact that I'm missing Nero's DB, it's always fun to play as Dante. And since I re-played DMC3 recently it was pretty easy to slip back into his fighting style. BTW, I LOVE how you can switch between his styles on the fly. That is possibly the greatest change they've made to him so far. Also, he's still a huge dork. I love his ridiculous corny dialog. OMFG, Mission 16: it penetrates. And in the end, we are all satisfied. Ha ha.



And now the topic I have wasted far too much time pondering: Nero, where the hell did you come from? There are vague hints that he's possibly Vergil's (or Sparda's) son, or that the remains of Nelo Angelo are living in his arm or that he's the reincarnation of Sparda... frankly, it hurts my brain more than a Capcom game should ever warrant. After deep discussion with kou_haruko we've decided all those theories are not plausible, the most incredible one being the idea of Vergil being horny. So after careful deliberation we came to one inevitable conclusion: Nero is a product of Vergil having babies via binary fission. Vergil must be able to reproduce like bacteria! Nero obviously started out as a bulbous growth on Vergil and kept growing bigger till he plopped off. That is the only explanation! XDDDD;

Soooo... now that I've shared my deep thoughts on Vergil's reproductive system with the world, I shall be a responsible adult and go to work now. Bah. stupid work, keeping me away from my REAL priorities!